la orange

a: hey.

b: oh hi.

a: why did you just ignore me? i just got here.

b: huh? when? oh, i'm sorry i was talking to lulu.

a: it just seems like you were having this really intense conversation and you were laughing so much, i guess i just feel kinda weird about that.

b: wait, about what?

a: i mean are you mad at me? last week, we were like, talking all the time and i pretty much put you in my top 3 of friends.

b: oh thanks! no i am not mad. sorry.

a: ok, then why don't you look at me directly in the eye at least 1/3 of the time anymore when telling an anecdote to a group of friends including me? and it seems like you are reading a new book and you like, didn't tell me. i don't know, i guess lulu is just like, your new favorite or something. p.s. i heard you guys went out for coffee on tuesday.

b: what?? dude, are you ok? i'm really sorry but i don't know what you are talking about.

a: forget it.

b: oh my little werther, what do you need?

a: i need you to tell with complete sincerity that you will never leave me, that you hate lulu, our coworker with whom you must begrudgingly converse from time to time, and hold me, just hold me.

b: um...

a: what?

b: you are frightening.

a: bad friend.